You see, Jonathan Swift propsed (modestly, i might add) that we,
as members of society seeking to help those in need,
should take the children dying of poverty on the streets...and eat them.
Tasteless as it may seem, this plan is surprisingly fairly well thought out.

Here's the breakdown:
Say there are 6 children and one mother, all living on the streets. Well, by giving them, say, one dollar, you aren't really helping them. The get one measely dollar for doing nothing, and it goes to waste anyway. Hmm...Well, what if they sold a good or service? They become functioning members of society, right? Your dollar is now going to good use. But what could a poor person sell to you, that you would want? Jonathan Swift has stepped in here, and killed two birds with one stone.

With skyrocketing meat prices due to a failing economy (partially due to welfare allotments) we find ourselves with less money and less food. So why not take those children, who are on the track to a life of begging, and not only remove them from governmental support, but also allow their lives to provide for yours? Sell those babies; and eat them! The difference between cow meat and people meat is slim to none. And, what's better, is that instead of 6 children and one mother being forever poor, we end up with 0 kids, 6 family ovens roasting dinner, and one mother with more money than she knows what to do with.

but wait, there's so much more!